hello. for this week, i would like to apologize for only posting the joke and idiom of the week. work has been terribly busy and what with my preparation for our holiday, i am left with very little time.
i promise to make it up to you after i get back from my holiday. i am pretty sure that i will have been refreshed by then.
cheers,
kate
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
idiom of the week: Get the Sack
"Did you hear about Jane in accounts?"
"No."
"Well, she came in late the other day and old Simmonds calls her into his office and gives her such a bollocking."
"That's Simmonds."
"Yeah, well, she tells him to take his job and shove it."
"Really. What happened?"
"Well, she got the sack, didn't she. 15 minutes. Get your stuff and get out."
"Oh, what a shame. Nice girl."
"Cheers. To Jane, and standing up to authority!"
Explanation: Be dismissed from your job.
Notes: In the old days, craftsmen used to bring their own tools to work. If the employer decided to dismiss a person, he would put that person's tools into a sack for him to take when he left. So when you got the sack, you knew you were being ordered to leave your job.
joke of the week: The Pirate
An sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns telling each other about their adventures at sea. Seeing the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks, "So, how did you get the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were caught in a monster storm off and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pulling me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of them bit my leg off."
"Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"
"Ahhhh...," said the pirate, "We were boarding a trader ship, pistols blasting and swords swinging this way and that. In the chaos my hand got chopped off."
"Crickey!" remarked the seaman. "And how about the eye patch?"
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye," answered the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook!"
Explanation: Pirate = a sailor who steals from other ships Peg-leg = wooden leg Hook = what you have on a door to hang your dressing gown on, or on your arm instead of your hand Eye patch = when you have no eye, this black cloth covers the hole Overboard = in the water Blimey = wow! Boarding = getting onto a ship Pistols = hand guns Blasting = shooting Sword = long knife for fighting Crickey = wow! Dropping = when a bird goes to the toilet, this is what you get! Incredulously = in disbelief
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
week 2 [SEPT 8 TO 12]
hello. 10 more cartoons have been added. scroll down or click on to the previous/older posts to find the idiom and joke of the week.
cheers,
kate
cheers,
kate
idiom of the week: Gordon Bennett!
"Hey George, what are you doing this weekend?"
"You mean the weekend of the 20th annual St Edmund Campion drinking festival?"
"Of course!"
"As usual, sitting at home watching Coronation Street with the wife. I don't suppose you can go either."
"Think again, my friend."
"Are you going?"
"Yes I am!"
"Gordon Bennett! How did you ever manage to persuade Beryl to let you go? "
"Family funeral."
"Who died?"
"One of her relatives, but I won't be able to attend the funeral. "
"Why not?"
"I'm going to severely injure my back the day before."
You crafty bugger! You owe me a drink for such a cunning plan..."
Explanation: Wow, as in I'm very surprised.
Notes: James Gordon Bennet II, 1841 - 1918 is the man referred to, and was quite a colourful character. One of his many reported exploits was an incident where he flew an aeroplane through an open barn. The surprised spectators were supposed to have said 'That was Gordon Bennett!', and hence onward to the current shortened phrase.
joke of the week: The Magic Bottles
Joke: There were 3 friends stranded in an island. Exploring the island, the 3 men found a bottle so they opened it. A genie came out, and she said that she would grant them 3 wishes. The first man said, "I wish I was with my family." Suddenly, poof, he was with his family. The second guy said, "I wish I was in a bar with my friends." Suddenly, poof, he was gone. The third guy was feeling bad and the genie asked, "What's wrong?" The man said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were here." Poof, his two friends were back in the island.
Explanation: If you are stranded somewhere there is no way you can escape from the place. A genie is a kind of magic spirit that lives in magic jars and always gives you wishes in return for allowing it to leave the jar. Poof is a sound accompanied by smoke that signifies something magic has happened.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
idiom of the week: Hold The Candle
"So who do you reckon was Oxford Utd's best footballer?"
"No question about it. It has to be John Aldridge."
"You reckon. I think old Deano, Dean Saunders was better."
"Oh rubbish! Saunders was a good striker, but he couldn't hold a candle to John Aldridge. His record speaks for itself. Top scorer in the club's history. Rogers was a cheat anyway. Any player who falls down in the penalty area looking for a penalty is a cheat and I hate him."
"I'm sure he'd disagree."
"Yeah, well I'd like to see him try."
"Well you can. He's over there at the bar looking at you!"
"Oh shit!"
Explanation: (Always used in negative : Subj couldn't hold a candle to Obj) Someone who doesn't even come close to being as good as another person at something.
Notes: Apprentices often had to hold candles up near senior workmen, so that they could see what they were doing. The idea of coming close refers to an apprentice who is learning his skill can approach a senior workman with a candle, whereas someone who doesn't know anything about the work, couldn't hold a candle to the senior workman.
joke of the week : The Lottery Winner
A woman gets home, runs into her house, slams the door and shouts,
"Honey, pack your bags, I won the lottery!!!!"
The husband says, "Wow! That's great! Should I pack for the ocean or should I pack for the mountains?"
She says, "I don't care. Just get out the hell out!"
Explanation:
The husband thinks that they'll go away together for their holiday, but the wife just wants him out of her life now that she's won the lottery!
To slam a door is to shut the door very hard.
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